Client Empathy Blog Post 5 - Regrets, Perfection, Pride and Sanity

Update: 

1. Weather has been terriffic

2. Second Payment made to contractor

3. Third Floor as you learned has become a little more part of Phase I..

New Family Room --The Former Porch

4. Framing complete, Roof on, Windows in (minus a

few we added late in the game) Rough Plumbing        complete, Electrical starting. Cedar siding

 ....lumber yards are in short supply...slight delay on delivery.

5. Cabinets Selected and order going in.

6. Appliances, Plumbing fixtures finalized, Tile 
ordered.

7. Counters selected and decorative lighting work in progress.

8. Eight weeks in--on the "fast schedule."

For those following the Client Empathy Blog  you 
know that I am working to share our personal 
experience of adding on to and renovating our own
home. 

Taking on a home remodeling project of any scale can be one of the most challenging, yet rewarding, experiences a homeowner will undertake. When you and your spouse own and operate an Architectural and Interiors firm as well as a Cabinetry dealership and you design, advise and advocate for others day in and day out, as well as think about your own house for over 20 years…you would think it would be easy as pie. 

With countless design choices, layers of dust and a revolving door of workers, just thinking about it can send even the most laid -back person to bed with a mind-numbing headache. Whether it’s truly your blood, sweat and tears going into the remodel or just in theory letting professionals take the lead, there’s no doubt about it, home building, renovations, alterations and additions are complicated. The silver lining, however, is the sense of accomplishment and homeowner pride once the project is complete and your design dreams are realized.

One of the best ways to keep stress at a manageable level is by working with a professional.  Working with a professional can make the remodel process much smoother by avoiding budget pitfalls, schedule delays and a crushed design dream. Having that professional by your side advising you is key. When you are creating your own home, there is pride and it becomes more emotional than you realize, you need an advocate to keep you moving toward the original goals, design intent and budget.

The thing is, we are the professionals.  

Q-    Who is our support system? Our advocates? Who is looking out for us?

A-    Our team of respected colleagues. They have been really supportive…and some giving us the knowing side eye look…when we somehow think we would be immune to the pain of this process.   They are anxious too.  They know how hard we work and are happy to see us doing this for ourselves and want to make sure they demonstrate their best for us.  They have been just as responsive to our calls for us as they are for our clients.  And for that we are so thankful. 

There is an old saying the Doctors mistakes are buried, Lawyers mistakes go to jail and Architects mistakes stand for everyone to see until the ivy covers them. So the dreams/nightmares are pride issues along with fear of regretting the choices we make. So below I have taken to addressing a few of these issues.

Regrets, Perfection, Pride and Sanity

Q-   Will I have regrets? 

A-    This is a major stress.  My daughter reminds me that we waited 20 years to fix the kitchen and bathroom that were in need of renovations when we purchased the home.  So, whatever we do, we are going to look at until we die.  There will not be a “add it in the future”.  The magnet put on the refrigerator by my kids about two years ago reads, “If we are lucky we might see the house completely renovated before we die.”  With budget a factor it is challenging to decide what is of true importance. Emotions and desire get in the way or rational thinking.  We don't want to regret spending foolishly on things and we don't want to regret not getting what we really want. 

Q-    Will it be perfect?

A-    We know all the latest and greatest finishes and appliances.   Clients—I feel you more now, more than ever.  As we muse and fuss over the details of the cabinetry, counters and the trim on the exterior we are taking turns reassuring each other in the morning that the dreams/nightmares are just that and we are making logical choices….when if we are really honest, so much emotion is driving the decisions and then the dollars. I keep reminding myself that we have to make choices/sacrifices…just like everyone else.  I remind myself that anything is better than what we had. In the end as much as we would like to have full control, sometimes things will just be what they are and most people won’t notice…I just hope that we won’t sit in the space and only see the “compromises” when it is complete.

Q-  Managing the peanut gallery the haters?

Front of House new roof with dormer

A-    Years ago, I read a “Dear Abby” type column where the wife complained that her husband the contractor would never finish their house.  That there were all these unfinished projects.  “Dear Abby” responded that if he finishes the project then people will be able to judge it. If it is a work in progress, he can simple say it’s not done yet. I get it.  As we were working to get on budget, we removed the changes to  the front portico and front door for now. The original goals were to renovate the kitchen and bathroom with a second bathroom and bedroom addition priority two. The details on the front of the house would have to wait.

Rafter detail 

    


      

     
      Marvin designed an amazing dormer for the front.  Complete with rafter tails that are consistent with the new addition on the rest of the new roof.  Now that it is complete, the front door details are not of the same language. It does not have rafter details.  Marvin is sick over it.  I see it too.  It needs to be changed…however, it just is not in the budget or part of the original goals.  It will wait.  Thank goodness for our level headed contractor.  He reassured us that it can happen but not now.  We need to keep our focus on the plans and the budget. So to anyone that picks up on that detail…we know…it’s a work in progress—don’t judge—it’s not finished yet.

  Q-  How do we keep our wits about us?

A-    Last night I escaped by going to yoga and when they reminded us to set an intention, I visualized the possibilities of a completed successful project and expressed gratitude for this amazing opportunity to personalize my own home. Then, I met with a longtime friend for a drink and we talked about her amazing year….it has been that long since we sat down to talk to each other.  Marvin….he de-stressed by going to a lecture in the morning and a retirement party in the evening.  Just staying away from the space and thinking about something else was a nice treat. 

Eventually our project will be complete and we will no longer have to retrieve water from the basement. After the dust has settled, the end result should be a beautiful space we can enjoy for years to come. And, thanks to our many friends, our own professional knowledge and team of  trusted colleagues, we are certain to be left with both a return on our dollars in the future and our sense.

Client Empathy Continues--Architects finally doing what they do for others.

“No news is good news,” the saying goes.
Construction continues with not a whole lot to report.

“Very fast” is still the schedule. 

When I last wrote, we were tasked with clearing part of the kitchen late into the night.
Other than a call from one of the kids that water was pouring into the kitchen via a light fixture, flooding the soon-to-be-demolished kitchen, the only event has been amazing progress!

As the client this time, what are we feeling?

Anxious.  Both Marvin and I find it hard to sleep at night.  There is quite a bit of pride involved, as you can imagine. 

Worried.   Like our clients, to get into the budget number we were willing to invest in this project, we had to make choices.  The framing is up, and as we survey the spaces it became clear that the dormer we removed in the attic on the back of the house for a future potential third floor bathroom was really not the thing to take out.  The contractor came to us..... “I have an idea!  What you really need back here is another dormer in the attic.  I think you will like it and you could even add a bathroom in the future as it is directly over the existing one.” 

Yup, we know!

Yup, the mantra!-- Follow the plans.  Don’t make changes. 

Weak – we added the dormer back in.  And of course …like our clients who make similar changes to the scope of work, we are justifying it to ourselves. “It really is the right thing to do.” “We don’t want to be penny-wise and pound-foolish.”  “It will add to the resale value of the house in the future.” “We don’t have to put all the finest finishes in…”

Then we went to Frank Lloyd Wright’s Falling Water and Kentuck Knob this weekend. Having put this visit off for years (just like the addition to our own house), our godchild's wedding celebration was in the area and we decided to make the pilgrimage to Falling Water as part of the weekend. We were so inspired.  The bathrooms had cork floors and walls.  You guessed it! The musing again about that third floor bathroom and how cool it would be to do it in all cork and extend that into the attic.  Phase II was quickly becoming a focus as the new space is so amazing.

Edgy – With things just a little out of place, our powder room and about 1/3 of our kitchen are gone. The contents of our attic crowd the bedrooms, we feel a little disorganized, and our surroundings are cluttered.  We repeatedly go to the old ironing-board-cabinet-turned-key-storage to get our keys only to remember that we emptied that a while ago.  And we run into the house to use the powder room and remember, as we try the powder room door, that it no longer exists and we have to run upstairs to the hall bath.

Guilty—there is so much going on in the world that is just devastating.  We feel pangs of guilt as we hear the news of the human suffering.

Fortunate --We feel fortunate to have the opportunity to improve our own home.

Empathetic –We are in the business and we see how stressful this process can be on individuals. Even though it is often elective/self-imposed, having your normal routine and belongings out of place and living in a space that is tarped to keep out the elements takes a toll on even the hardiest. To think we still have clean running water, electricity and refrigeration and that we can go to work and school and get away from it for a while, our hearts go out to those that are in true need right now.

So, I am signing off now and heading to the store to purchase relief items for the hurricane victims. I'm remembering that while there is no real suffering going on at my house and that we are on a “Very Fast" schedule, there are many out there that do not know when help will arrive or if their lives will ever be normal again.